22/7/2014 . 71 notes . Reblog



please just watch this

"It’s one second." I said
"It can’t possibly be that great."
I was wrong.

20/7/2014 . 164,625 notes . Reblog





The girlfriend experience

> Any man who has ever had a girlfriend can attest to this.

> This is just too good. Animation, adorableness, substance. I really hope there are more of these.

It’s too adorable not to reblog again.

This is my roommate and his boyfriend. All the freaking way.

I will reblog this as many times as it comes up on my dash <333

20/7/2014 . 177,297 notes . Reblog



tbh I don’t see the fuss about having waiters/waitresses not being happy and enthusiastic like I came here to eat I didn’t come here to be amused by employees as long as I’m getting my food and they’re not being blatantly rude I don’t see why y’all need to go on yelp to rank a restaurant 0/5 and have an outburst on why your waitress didn’t smile at you when she poured you water

this is pretty fucking important

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my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

this is my favorite post on tumblr currently

20/7/2014 . 152,544 notes . Reblog


Boys are so fucking weird. I’m sorry, but most of the guys I talk to start out normal then end up either delusional, bitter or downright stupid. But at the start they don’t show this, they act like men, splurge on me or hold pretty stimulating conversations. Then they get fucking weird. Like they’ve attached something of theirs onto me and they want it back. I don’t get why I’m attracting childish boys who act like big men. Sit down you fucking pussy.

20/7/2014 . 9 notes . Reblog
  • friend: you speak french?
  • me: yeah
  • friend: say something in french!
  • me: je suis venu ici pour passer un bon moment et je me sens tellement attaqué en ce moment honnêtement
20/7/2014 . 175,370 notes . Reblog



Katt Williams: Dave Chappelle Is Funnier Than Me

Yooooooo this shit gets deep


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cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call


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